If you are married, do you remember your wedding day?
I got to have 2. The first one, I was 20, and it was a big catholic wedding. I didn’t have contacts at the time, so I just walked down the aisle without 100% of my vision. I was told the young groom was overcome with emotion. I, due to my blindness, could not actually see his face. However, the feeling of walking into that church, on my dad’s arm, was a very sweet feeling. I was the center of attention. I felt all love, all confidence, all joy. Regardless of anything, that was a beautiful day.
For those of us married, we know that the wedding day is NOT a marriage and unfortunately, that marriage would end, very painfully, 17-years later.
The second wedding day, I was 40 years-old, and you better believe I wore my contacts. I was escorted by my two sons, one was 14, the other was 6 at the time. This time, I saw all the beautiful expressions of love on my groom’s face. On that day I felt overwhelming gratitude, joy, love, confidence, and peace. I was older, and of course aware of so many complexities of marriage, the knowledge of which were simply non-existent the first time. We don’t know, what we don’t know. That wedding day was beautiful, and I will treasure it and our marriage, for the rest of my days.
So, if you remember your wedding day… hold on to that, we’ll circle back.
How about those of you who aren’t married? Did (or do) you have someone in your life that loves you unconditionally? That you always just knew that they would lay their life down for you, if it ever came to that? For me, as a child, it was always my dad. Not that my mom doesn’t love me unconditionally, but I always think of my dad as the one who would fight the world for me. That he’d protect me from everything.
Love.
If it’s the love we feel on our wedding day, or the love we felt from a parent or grandparent, it’s this kind of love that allows you to exist, in a different realm.
As a kid, if our parents got a flat tire on the side of the interstate, we didn’t sweat it. We, as the kid, didn’t panic. We knew they’d take care of it, and we’d be ok. If we were loved by a parent, we felt protected and impenetrable by life’s challenges as a kid.
As an adult, when our partner loves us, we exist with a peace and confidence, that you may not even understand that you walk in. We hold their hand when we are alongside them, and we know that they’d fight to the death for us. There’s an unsaid pact, to always and forever have one another’s back. When we are loved well by our husband or wife, we just know it. We know that if the entire world fails us, that sure they may mess up, but they will not be a failure to us. They are loving us when we’re with them, and when we’re not, and in a good marriage… you just know that; in your bones.
Love.
If our parent was our warrior, and lavished us with their love, as a child: did it break your heart to disappoint them?
If your spouse loves you and supports you: do you think twice before doing stuff that you know would hurt them?
hmmm…
Do you see where I’m going?
Love, isn’t just a feeling we get. It’s not the butterflies. The love that changes us, that modifies our behavior in certain scenarios, the love that we find confidence in… has NOTHING to do with us. It’s the way others do it. We just get to love them back. Hopefully, in the same manner they pour into us. But, when we’re a kid, it’s crazy one-sided. The parent loves first. They pour-in first. They sacrifice first.
So… if God is love… and HIS love is perfect. Are we living our daily lives in light of how well and perfectly we are loved?
As a kid, I knew my dad would catch me if I fell. Do I walk that way now, knowing that my Heavenly Father will never leave nor forsake me?
I knew my husband loved me and I would NEVER have done anything to betray him or hurt him. Do I live that way towards Christ now? I mean, HE laid down His life for me, conquered sin and death for me, and is literally preparing a place for me to spend eternity with HIM. Am I as mindful of my eternal groom as I was of my earthly one?
Do I walk in the light, confidence, strength, peace, and truth of God’s love? Do I treat His love like I did my father’s as a kid? Or my groom’s? Do I live like I’m loved? Do I walk through struggles and challenges, like I’m loved by the Creator of Heaven and Earth?
Or, do I do so defeated? Do I do so like it all depends on me? Like, no one has my back?
Love. If we claim that Jesus conquered sin and death because HE loves us with an unfailing perfect love… then are we living like we believe that? Do I live like that?