To say that I was raised with serious trust issues is the understatement of a lifetime.
Between the city I grew up in, the times in which my formidable years took place, and my family, it really is a miracle that I’m not a hermit.
I mean I was told repeatedly that “friends” were all temporary, not worth a huge investment of my time or energy because they were passerby’s, transient in the big scheme of things. My grandfather would tell me to not trust anyone with a nose in the center of their face. My trust was betrayed by a caregiver at a very young age. Heck, my generation would be told that razors were being put into apples and given out in Halloween; resulting in my parents checking all of my candy before I ate 1 piece (BTW, a practice I carry on with my kids). I have a vivid recollection of Adam Walsh getting kidnapped from a Sears, the Challenger explosion, AND to quote Billy Joel, I remember, “hypodermics on the shore”.
And yet… I venture outside.
Don’t get me wrong I struggle with trusting people constantly. I doubt what people tell me and then I examine the intent behind what they say or what they do. It’s exhausting.
However, in my 41 years, people have pleasantly surprised me. I look back at my life and see genuine friendships. Friendships that have endured the test of time and distance. I have people that love me and my family even though they don’t have to, and that me and my family love right back. People that go out of their way to serve others and then, go out of their way so no one finds out. People who prove to be loyal and honest… to a fault.
I find myself now, transitioning from a distrustful jerk to a distrustful jerk who recognizes the exceptions. And I cherish them.
As one grows older you begin gaining a certain amount of wisdom that (to put it plainly) time-served gives you. I love a saying a controller I used to work with had:
“El diablo sabe mas por viejo, que por diablo” translated: the devil knows more because he’s old, not just because he’s the devil.
People will never cease to amaze me. The depths of our depravity is scarier than any horror movie I’ve ever seen. However, on some occasions the intensity in which we love and the capacity we have to love is awe-inspiring. It’s just, in a sinful world filled with sinful people it gets hard to see the good out there. But it is there. In my personal case, the only good thing in me is CHRIST. Without HIM I’m a lost cause.
So, how do I approach people? With caution, with my guard up, with indifference, with apprehension, with awareness and then… I approach them. It’s the element of empathy that always causes me to engage. Why empathy? Well, not only do I assume we’re all sinners and capable of atrocities but I also assume we’re lost… and then I can’t but, get a little uncomfortable for the sake of HIM. I mean, I know what HE means to me, how can I not share that? What kind of selfish animal would I be to not share what/ who saved me, from me?
What has my time here shown me over and over and over again? That every single time I choose to do what doesn’t come naturally, to TRUST, I’ve been shown how HE can use that. I just trust HIM to have my back. And HE does. Exceedingly, abundantly.
Be kind to one another… please.