I want to be very clear… this post is for comedic value. I really am laughing at the series of unfortunate events, but, when I share the shenanigans of my life, other people don’t find it as funny; except my beloved sister, she simply replies with, “brode” (loosely translated to, Bro) … and it’s an appropriate response. Enjoy:
The Dog
So, we got a dog. We adopted this beautiful 8-week old puppy from the local humane society. When one reads grief books for children and adults, getting a pet is high on the list of ways people move towards, “healthier healing opportunities”… yes, that’s what it’s called. Luckily, she’s so sweet. We named her Kate Bishop, after the Hawkeye series Matthew and I enjoyed together. Well, little Ms. Kate proved to be exactly what we both didn’t know we desired. Matthew, was able to care for her, and love on her (and, most importantly, he was not hovering nervously over me), and I got more active. I found real enjoyment is just playing with her, and I was distracted by all the cleaning up I had to do. Such a healthy distraction. Mom for the win!!! Right?
Wrong.
We brought her home on Tuesday, December 28th… on Saturday, January 1st she turned into a double-sided sprinkler system… both vomiting and having diarrhea shoot out of her. She became very sleepy, and common sense told me, “hydrate her”. I took a little syringe ( yes, I still have one from when Matthew was a baby and I’d have to give him Tylenol) and gave her (or forced her to have) water. We had a slight improvement the next day. She finally stopped throwing up, and started eating some of the bland food I made her. Well, Monday 1/3 in the evening, she threw up again, oh… and again… she went back to just wanting to sleep. It was really sad and we felt so bad for her. After speaking to the Vet, and making an appointment for the next day, I started using the syringe to give her Pedialyte and water.
At the Vet, the doctor starts throwing around the word “Parvo,” the only thing I knew about “parvo“ was that she’s had 2 of the 4 recommended vaccinations. While the doctor was out of the exam room and is testing the specimen, Matthew (my son) suggests I google it, I probably should’ve hidden the google search results from him, but I didn’t, and we read it together. I didn’t know, at first, if the correct response was to laugh in utter disbelief of what I read, or to cry because of the universe’s sick and twisted audacity. I looked over at my little guy and the tears were running down his cheeks. He chose cry.
So… The quick, quick version “Parvo” is a virus. A Virus that causes crazy GI issues in puppies. It has an extremely high (like 64%) mortality rate, because of bacteria that is introduced to the puppy’s digestive system. The puppy is very prone to dehydrate, and eventually can get sepsis and it’s organs can stop functioning. Horrible virus.
Matthew and I stared at each other. We sat there, waiting to find out if Kate Bishop was positive. The irony was not lost on us. My very bright son said, “so the dog we got to help us walk through the grief over Chris dying, has a virus that can kill her too?” He started crying, and I said, with all wisdom and reassurance, “baby, don’t cry until we actually know what she has”…
She tested positive for Parvo.
Of course she did. We both cried at that point.
Now, I can write this because we’re on day 6 after the initial onset, and that ridiculously high mortality rate is for puppies during the initial 24-72 hours after symptoms first begin. Also, she didn’t need to be hospitalized because she wasn’t dehydrated. Finally, she hasn’t thrown up again, and she’s playful, she’s eating and drinking on her own. It seems like little Ms. Kate is on the other side of this. She’ll still have to finish her antibiotics, and we remain cautiously optimistic and vigilant.
Yesterday was supposed to be Matthew’s first day back to school and I couldn’t leave Kate alone… Long story short, Matthew didn’t have school… I took a dog, with all of the gear that accompanies a recovering puppy, a kid with all of his school gear (because again, I’m not winning any mother-of-the-year awards) and a freaking partridge in a pear tree to my office. Yes, I’m now, THAT lady. It was not an overly productive day.
My tooth
I woke up on Monday, December 27th with a pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt before. My tooth, jaw, head, everything was throbbing. I couldn’t drink my coffee because the heat hurt my tooth. I couldn’t drink anything cold because that hurt too. Not to boast, but I’ve never even had a cavity, this was a foreign feeling. I immediately called the dentist which obviously was closed. Because, you know… Christmas. I went in to see them the next day, that’s when I’m told that I have a fracture on my tooth but they don’t know how far into the root it goes. Huh… “great” I thought to myself. I’m then sent to an Endodontist. I ain’t ever heard of such a thing. Well, these are doctors that do fun little things like root canals. How exciting for me. My appointment with them isn’t until January 5th. In the meantime, my dentist prescribes antibiotics and pain meds… which get this… make me drowsy. So when do you think I take said pain pills? That’s right, only at night. Ask me what I take the rest of the time, well, I put drops of clove on the hurting tooth. Yes it works. At least it takes the edge off. To say I’ve been a little short with my temper lately is a bit of an understatement.
Fast forward to the Endodontist appointment and YES, the fracture goes all the way through the root. This very nice older man proceeds to explain how rare this is for someone my age. He explains that the grating on that particular molar is indicative of grinding while I’m asleep and that it’s usually associated with high stress levels or a particularly stress-filled event. He then asks, with sincerity and genuine concern, “have you had a lot of stress in the past 6 months to a year” I couldn’t help it. I laughed. Like, my laugh… it’s loud. I regained my composure and said, with a straight-face “just a bit” and he empathetically said, “Oh this COVID, we’ve all been stressed, I’ve seen more fractured teeth from grinding in the last 12 months than I had in the entirety of the previous 5 years.” Sweet guy.
I’ll be extracting said tooth later today. I haven’t been this excited to endure a bit of pain in my mouth since I took my adult braces off in 2019. Do you know why I got braces? Because I had a gap. Pure vanity…
Do you know what I’ll have today when I extract my tooth? A gap.
These are the 2 items I’ll share with you all, but I’ve also had to do legal stuff, which has been SO enjoyable, and house stuff… which is like, almost as fun as getting a tooth extracted.
I’m 6 days into this year and I have laughed a lot at these utter shenanigans. Good times indeed.
OH… and I forgot… I got my first colonoscopy! You’re welcome.