Once upon a time…
I, remember as a little girl that the fairytale (think Cinderella, Snow White, etc.) was always my favorite type of cartoon. I loved to pretend that I was this princess, (who didn’t know she was a princess) living in this far off land, always beautiful, always singing, who one day meets her prince charming. He’d woo her and sacrifice life and limb for her. They’d be so in love that they’d live happily ever after.
I got it all wrong.
See, I thought that the fairytale was applicable to human relationships. BIG mistake. I genuinely mistook pursuit for wooing. There was no wooing. It was more like a hunt, and I thought I was too smart for that, too keen to be a ridiculously smitten girl. Heck, I was no princess, far from it. I was a snarky, fowl mouthed 19-year-old girl who was led by emotions and had quite the temper. However, if I’m being honest (and this ‘writing thing’ doesn’t work if I’m not honest) I still hoped for the fairytale. He wasn’t as charming as one would have hoped, and there was absolutely no sacrificial anything going on, just the opposite. Yet, I still hoped, and I’m not proud of that. Ever after? Not even close. With chagrin and pain a fairytale turned into a very serious, dark and tumultuous tale of loss on the deepest of levels. One filled with legalities and absolutely, positively no whimsical romantic tale of reconciliation. The “fairytale” became pragmatic after 17 years and therefore; ceased to exist in my brain as anything lovely or innocent or pure. Only hurt and devastation remained in that story’s wake.
I got it all wrong.
A fairytale does exist, but it’s not what I thought, and it’s not fake. There is a “happily ever after” but it won’t be enjoyed like we all think. See, it took devastation and redemption to get me to figure this one out. The devastation wasn’t what I set out to find and the redemption God provided did not look like I thought it would. The fairytale I was so very enamored by as a child was not a possibility to ever happen here; on this horizontal plain. Regardless of the person God chose to eventually bring into my life, to now walk alongside me, to marry, it wasn’t that love story that resonated with the “fairytale” concept. See, he’s not my prince charming. Nope. He can’t be. As amazing as he is and as much as I know he loves me and I him, he’s flawed, just like I’m flawed. We both make mistakes, and silly choices, and argue over semantics because really, English is my 2nd language. However, not him, but HIM (the Lord of lords, the King of kings, the Prince of peace)! HE’s my prince charming, who wrote and lived out the most beautiful account of wooing one has ever seen in the history of wooing. HE sacrificially gave up everything, risked everything, and withheld nothing in order to make a way for us to someday spend eternity together.
Looking at life, even in the most desolate of moments, with an eternal perspective changes the footage of what I now see. Honestly… I got it all wrong, over and over again because I didn’t become a believer until early 2006. I lived 29+ years not having a clue of who Christ was, or who I was to HIM. I had this limited and lopsided view of life: what it meant, what it was supposed to be, what success was supposed to look like. It was all very selfish, self-absorbed and angry. BUT GOD … His redemption story, His grace and limitless mercy is the only thing that resonated with my soul. The only truth I could feel in my bones, and it rocked my world.
I had it all wrong for such a long time, but only with Christ will I, in eternity, get my happily ever after.
Happy Easter all… and if you have NO clue what the crap I’m talking about… that’s fine. I would’ve rolled my eyes at something like this not all that long ago, I get it. 12 years ago, I broke, and HE put me back together. There’s a lot more to that story but I’ll just say, God has done exceedingly abundantly more than I could have ever imagined. I’d change nothing of the last 12 years, and these have probably been the most difficult, intense, scary, challenging and trying years of my entire life.
Funny how that works. How He held me together so many times. For real… Happy Resurrection Sunday everyone… it’s not about a bunny!