The rhetorical parenting question: when are they ready?
If we’re coming at this parenting thing wisely there is an understanding that everything, EVERYTHING, comes with its time. For instance, your 12 year-old wants to go with their older 22 year-old sibling to a keg party; the answer to that request should be, “NO”. There are discussions and actions that other 22 year-old’s in attendance may engage in, that a 12 year-old should not be privy to. However, and this is the tricky part to parenting, one cannot paint with a broad brush.
Any parent of multiple children can attest to this 1 fact, all the kids, each one, is an individual and very different from their siblings. Therefore, where 1 of your children may be mature beyond their years at 15 the other simply is not. And there is nothing wrong with that.
So, back to my original question, “when are they ready”? When are they ready for driving, the PG-13 movie, the vampire book, the sleep over, the potty training, learning to read, to get out of the crib, or to leave home forever in pursuit of their own path? When?
My fellow parents, I present this answer, “ummmm, it depends”.
Every kid is different and every kid has their own developmental speed. However, we are becoming so fluid in our decision making (parents) that we are ignoring basic principles and truths: there IS a time for everything. And I’d old school it up and add “place” to that sentiment: There IS a time and place for everything!
Our job as parents is to find the balance with our children. YES! Allow them to be kids, to be silly, to cherish their childhood, AND that may require pumping the breaks on age inappropriate events or activities. Parents, we may have to use the dreaded, “just because everyone is doing it, doesn’t make it right” argument and THAT’S OK.
I, give you permission to be the bad guy! They will love you for it. They don’t have to like you, heck as a parent of 4 children, 20, 18, 16 and 8, plus being the supplemental mom to all the kids, my kids have brought home … FYI, you won’t like them at some point during this journey either, but you guys will love each other. And, in love PARENTS, correct your kids and say NO once in a while to things and places and activities that they are not developmentally ready for. It’s ok. They’ll live.
So, when are they ready? I don’t know. But slow down momma & daddy and I would venture to guess, if you sincerely believe they aren’t ready for something, they probably aren’t. If you are a loving parent, motivated by doing the right thing and the love you have for your child, your judgment is probably not too far off the mark for your particular situation. Just don’t let the world sway you and dictate how you parent. They don’t really know your kid and they paint with WAY too broad a brush.
There is a time and place for everything under the sun, grow patience and delayed gratification in your kids. They don’t know it yet, but they’re gonna be grateful for you pumping the breaks, one day.