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Hi.

Welcome to my blog. I document my adventures in life. 

choose love.

Love.

Some of us believe it’s a feeling. I, personally, believe it’s a choice. See, feelings are fleeting. I can feel sad, I can feel angry, but then, I feel happy. Personally, I think feelings are crap.

So, love is a choice.

I’m blessed beyond what I deserve to write the words, “I know love”.

I know the love from a husband. A beautiful man, who sacrificially loved me, until his last breath. I was fully his, and he was fully mine.

I know the love of my children, and I know what it is to love them, even when I haven’t really liked them.

Love is a choice.

I choose to love on a daily basis. My children, family, and friends. I love the people that God has blessed me with. They all help make me better.

Now, this doesn’t mean that some instances aren’t complicated. After all, we live in a sin-filled, fallen world. Of course, things get complicated.

For those of you who are unaware, I’m divorced. I was married to the father of my kiddos for almost 17-years, he had a weakness for other women’s vaginas, so we didn’t work out. BUT… his family, IS my family. I consider them part of MY family. I choose to love them. Does that get complicated? OF COURSE! But in the 8-years since my divorce, I believe that those waters have been navigated pretty well. Furthermore, the ones who’ve benefited the most, have been my kids.

Wanna talk complicated?

I met my person 7-years ago, we married in February of 2017, and were a blended family of 6. Our children were, 18, 16, 14 and 6 years-old the day we married. People… teenagers are rough. But, my husband and I chose love. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY. My husband’s family, never batted an eyelash, and loved and accepted me and my kiddos with open arms. My husband’s mom, called me daughter. His siblings, call me sister. No hesitation… they, are MY family, and I’m grateful to God everyday that they will forever be, MY family.

So… what’s your situation?

I love my parents, but they are old school. They believe family is defined by blood, and that’s fine for them. God has blessed them, and shielded them, from a lot of what I’ve been exposed to: Divorce, remarriage, etc. And, we simply, do not know, what we do not know, and that’s ok.

Heck, I believe in blood too. My church family, IS my family because we ARE joined by blood. The blood that Jesus shed for us, and that we put our faith in. That blood, saves lives and binds me to other believers in Christ. Am I going to like every member of my family? No, but I will choose to love them; after all, we’re related by blood.

I choose to love.

There’s no real point to this post, except to encourage others to choose to love people.

Love your spouse, even when you don’t like them. That’s your family: the family you chose to create. Love their family, because they are a part of your spouse, and if you have children together, they are a part of them.

Love your children, even when they remind you of you, soooo much so, that you want to punch them in the face. Love your children’s spouse, they will hold their hands long after we are gone.

Love your parents, even though they’ve hurt you. We (as parents) make mistakes, and most of the time, we have no clue what we’re doing. Most of us are doing the best we can, with what we got.

Choose to love. Love covers a multitude of sins.

Love doesn’t look like it does in the movies. It should be honest, it should be more about the other person than it is about us, it’s long-suffering, and it’s patient. It’s when we want the best for the other person, and love them enough to correct them when needed.

As a mom, saying “no” was sometimes the most loving thing I could do for my child; even though a “yes” would have made the kid happier, and my life easier.

I am loved, and I love. I know both joy, and grief and they co-mingle, and co-exist.

Sometimes, family is complicated, relationships are difficult, and death intervenes. This life isn’t easy, and choosing to love people, is not easy, but I simply do not understand another way of being.

“Follow your heart” is one of the most stupid things we say. Our “heart” is deceitful and treacherous. When people say, “follow your heart” they mean run after your passions. My passions, can get me in trouble. So… I’ll end this pointless post with; choose love, not passion, not feelings, not emotions, LOVE. Sacrificial, enduring, committed LOVE. The kind of love Jesus displayed. Choose love. EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.