I’ve told people, pretty much all of my life, you make time for what’s important to you.
So, if I’m being honest with myself, are the things I’m not intentional about, important enough? And… what exactly am I defining as, “important enough”?
I’m thinking about this because we all know life is busy. It just is. There’s kids, schedules, sports, jobs, oil changes, workouts, you name it… it is fighting for a place in our day. During the pandemic, there was a beautiful reprieve for a minute, we didn’t have choice, things weren’t open or available to us. But very quickly the over-scheduling has reared its ugly head again, at least in my home. Coupled with work obligations a mom can feel really overwhelmed very quickly, so then what?
I don’t always love the things I’m doing, and I end up neglecting people I really love or love to be around. That’s not the right way that balance of life’s activities should be going. My schedule should be dominated by people I love, and doing things I love, but it isn’t, and that’s an area of conviction for me.
Being intentional in my personal relationships needs to improve. And I can give you 112 justifications as to why I don’t prioritize them, or “have enough time” but… that’s unacceptable. After all, we make time for what’s important.
I have an amazing friend group, all of us are in similar season’s of life so we get how busy we are, and don’t hold it against one another. Those are actually not the relationships I’m talking about. I’m talking about the ones with my immediate family; my husband, my kids. See, with them they’re not only in the same season, we’re on the same schedule: with them, the lack of intentionality can result in routines, or ruts, or worse. If I don’t prioritize my husband then that relationship may begin to show chinks in the armor. With my kids? A lack of communication may grow into an impassable chasm, that only deepens with each unspoken exchange. When the busyness of life has you only going through-the-motions with the people you love the most, it’s time to hit the pause button.
Date your spouse, take your kids out for a walk, go on a stupid road trip to see the biggest ball of yarn.
Or maybe we start small? Like, being mindful that you put your phone down while you are talking to your loved one? You do know that your text, your social media post or scroll, your game… they can all wait, right? The human standing before you wanting to tell you about their day will eventually grow tired of waiting. They may grow tired of feeling like the second fiddle, and then what? Will we finally be intentional then?
There is a beauty to being deliberate with one’s relationships, an artful tact of removing distractions in order to be attentive and aware of another human. This art of being present, and intentional is something that requires practice.
I pray that God continues to work in my heart and that I daily choose to practice the art of intentionality with those I love.