Well, the world has quickly changed. 2-3 weeks ago, I knew about a virus in a distant kind-of-a-way. Joked about it. I even googled the symptoms and they were actually milder than the symptoms of the flu, so I paid absolutely no attention to it. Things have changed.
Everything has changed.
I pray that this pandemic and the world changing so quickly is a tool used to turn our attentions to the 1 who never changes, the 1 who is constant, and the 1 who provides us with the only security we need, Jesus. But I’ll circle back to HIM as I always do, after all, all things are spiritual before they are physical.
I am an observer of people, sure, it’s a socially distanced observation recently, but I’m still looking… as we all are. And, what I do see is panic. Everywhere I look I see panic and desperation and turmoil, and it makes my heart hurt. If I’m being completely honest too, I have to check myself because the panic is sitting at a distance constantly threatening to take a hold of me. I mean how can it not? I found myself at the grocery store yesterday with a list, as I do every weekend, but the temptation to get something not on my list because, well, what if I can’t tomorrow or the next day? Where is the line between being prudent and being anxious? Can any of us even see that line anymore?
It’s insane. I actually ask myself, “am I under-reacting?”… the mind is the best trickster there is.
So, I have to remind myself that my security rests with Christ. That HE is all I need and should be all I want. But I’m human and horribly flawed and I can, in the stream of a singular thought think, “yes, Christ is all I need, but…” and it’s in that “but” that I wish I could turn my brain off. But I can’t. And, from what I’ve seen of recent human behavior, none of us can. We all have that “but”… we all struggle with finding that balance between; being smart and being scared, being cautious and being panicked, being reasonable and being nuts! It’s universal.
Balance is probably the most illusive element of all human existence. Our pendulum doesn’t stay centered for too long. So then what? Right? What do we do when we struggle with finding a balance? Well… WE STRUGGLE! Fight for balance.
Looking at our lives like a scale and not being passive I think are huge steps. My personal scale rests with Christ. The closer I get to HIM the more balanced my life feels. Now, I teeter, constantly… CONSTANTLY. And frankly, it’s exhausting. So, it’s a daily effort to cling and choose HIM over fear, over anxiousness, over panic, over EVERYTHING. Filtering all my choices and decisions through HIM, HIS word, HIS righteousness. And I fail. I fail big time. But… then I try to fix my scale again. Daily. Relentlessly.
Look, we’re all stuck here for now. We’re all wondering what tomorrow holds, right? How is life going to change post pandemic? I don’t know. But I know who does, and in that fact, I’m going to rest. If all things work together for good for those who love HIM and are called according to HIS purpose, then that includes today. That includes this pandemic. That includes the great toilet-paper shortage of 2020.
If my worst-case scenario is death by virus… then, that ain’t too bad. I know where I’m going. BUT… if I’m being honest and where I struggle is that for me death isn’t my worst-case scenario. Worst case scenario is the world going more nuts than what I’ve observed and my family suffering. Like, suffering, suffering. That’s my fear. That’s where I have to guard my scale and trust that even in my worst-est case scenario God is still in control. That if HE sees fit to allow that, it’s for HIS glory. That’s a tough pill to swallow. In my sinful nature, that’s the most jagged little pill in history.
But, God. Right?
Right?
Stay safe people. Stay healthy. Don’t get crazy… er.