"Therefore if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come." 2 Corinthians 5:17 ESV
Remember being a kid and playing with your friends and you'd make a mistake while playing a game, or starting a race, or even playing video games? You'd make a silly error and yell, "do over" or "that didn't count, that didn't count" and it was understood that, that initial first step or move was erased and the sequence of events would re-start without consequence. It was kid-rule #1, the cry of "do over" was widely understood and respected as the law of the land. However, once in a while we'd play with the chronic do-over kid: you know? Every single time they started off on the wrong foot, or didn't hit the right button on the remote, or had their foot slip off the pedal, they cried, "DO OVER". UGH... It was, All. The. Time. Frustrating, right?!
But now, we're adults or adultish, and "do over" no longer exists. It's a comical phrase we satirically throw around because it is now understood that "do over" is nonsense. But, I'll challenge you that it really isn't. I'm not talking about the chronic do-over user, I mean the, oh my goodness I've made a horrible mistake and feel insanely horrible about it, do-over user. That person. We all make some bad choices in our lives. The challenge for all of us, is to perhaps extend a little grace when someone calls out do-over, you know, like when we were kids.
What am I talking about? Example (a real one)
Circa 2006, I broke. Completely and utterly. A few months later through God's incredible mercy I was the grown woman version of humpty dumpty and got put back together. Since then, through some very hard obstacles, and an ongoing journey, I know that I'm not same. HE, put me back together and I fought very hard for the life I now have, that HE allows me to have. Do over. BUT... not so much, why? Because in my breaking, I broke some other people too. Where I now feel like a new person, literally. To others, I'm simply not. It's been 12 years but no time can ever erase the impact my break had on those around me. My "do-over" doesn't undo crap. That's the challenge.
"Remember not the former things, nor consider the things of old." Isaiah 43:18 ESV
Are we capable of, "remember not"? Do we have the capacity to witness a human's "do over" and NOT allow them to have one? I'm not talking about on the surface: you know, the person that apologizes but does not change one singular thing about the behavior they apologized for. No, no. I'm talking about the person who hurt you, or did something that hurt you or made a mistake that hurt you and that now, lives a life consistently showing and demonstrating either their utter remorse or just a completely changed life. Why don't they get a "do over"? Why don't we "remember not"?
Could it be, that we are incapable of not remembering? That, the error, hurt, revelations revealed are way too much for us to ever grant a re-start because we may feel that they don't deserve one? Or, that in not remembering we can possibly be wronged again, or that they may hurt us or themselves again and we won't be able to stop it? What's your reason for not allowing a person to have a well-deserved (earned) do-over?
"Be the compromise you want to see in the world" Mahatma Gandhi
Compromise. UGH... we adults hate that word. It means we're not going to get ALL we want. Psssst.... that's sometimes a good thing. I invite you to compromise. On your unwillingness to remember what it's like to be a kid that grants the do-over. You remember? A race. You got off to a fantastic start! I mean, best one ever! And this little schmuck, yells, "Do-over, I messed up" and you stop mid-stride, best-race take off in your life, and you (begrudgingly) go back to the starting line. Your actions, granted an (albeit, I'm not too happy about it) do-over. You know you'll never again be able to repeat the start of that neighborhood race. BUT, you also know that in granting this do-over, you'll be granted one too, because after all... kid law. Be that kid again when it's really merited. It's not easy, to not remind ourselves daily of what went wrong. To understand that someone is no longer who they were because, they really did have a change of heart. To not expect the same behavior from someone who continually and consistently show you a changed behavior. None of that crap is easy. Now. Apply a little kid-law in your life when it's merited. Re-start the race, you'll be fine.