fullsizeoutput_2.jpeg

Hi.

Welcome to my blog. I document my adventures in life. 

Cup half full? Sure. I don't want any, but the cup's half full.

I’m an observer of people, that includes myself, and as time progresses, I have one recurring thought, “people are nuts”.  I’ve been asked many times, “what’s your favorite verse” and it’s Jeremiah 17:19, “The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately sick; who can understand it?” I know, I know… it’s dark.  BUT… it’s true! As is all of scripture, but it’s also an excellent reminder to myself about myself and everyone around me. 

It’s not so much that I’m a pessimist, I’m a realist. I’ll give you some examples:

I lock my doors and I have an alarm on my home. It’s not because I think, “surely, my home/car IS going to get broken into” … nope.  It’s just that I know that if there is a crime of opportunity, I won’t be the one giving the opportunity.  Same reason I lock my car while I pump gas. It’s not necessarily because I think all people are bad or thieves, but it is because I know that people aren’t naturally, good. (Yikes, I know how this reads, but I’m being honest. Romans 3:23)

Another example is… well, I go to church, I’ll serve, I love the Lord, but I don’t want anything to do with leadership, or the strategic planning of the church, or committees. Know why? Too human. I don’t want anything to do with that side.  I know it exists, I’m not naive… I just don’t want anything to do with it. I’ll respectfully walk-away from all those types of conversations.

I don’t EXPECT good from people, I don’t necessarily expect bad either, I just expect people to be people.  People get desperate and make mistakes, they get angry and act irrationally and if provoked they may react.  It is, what it is.  To expect perfection from people is an error in judgement, and it’s not fair to them.  People are incapable of perfection.

We all make mistakes.  Some of us (me FOR SURE) struggle with this underlying old nature that even though one is diligently seeking the Lord, in His word, mindful of what one watches, does, or says, etc.. we struggle.  If I get angry enough, I may need to put myself in a timeout because I want to EXPLODE. I have that in me.  I wish I could tell you that coming to Christ extinguished the parts of me that I don’t like, but they aren’t “extinguished” they’re diminished.  Now, there are certain things I used to do, which I just don’t anymore, and I don’t “struggle” they’re just DONE. BUT… that fiery anger and unquenchable desire to win at all cost, oh yeah… that’s still there. Doubt? Yep… still there. Am I mean? Yeah, I can be.  Heck, on certain occasions it takes effort and intentionality to not be a jerk.  I’ve thought about it many times, the fruit of the spirit, right? Galatians 5: 22-23, gives us a list of good fruit, or fruit that comes from the Holy Spirt, evidence of the Spirit in the life of a believer.  The list includes: “love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control”.  As I (personally) grow in my faith these things are easier for me to display.  BUT (and it’s a big but) I do not do this perfectly.  Even though God gave me a new heart, and I am to put on the new self… the old me, the old self… sometimes sticks out and it takes effort to put it away. 

As the years continue to pass, (it’s been 13 years now that I’m walking with the Lord) it gets easier to put on the new self.  What continues to keep me on track, in addition to my love for Christ and the understanding of what HE did for me, it’s also the recognition of what the human heart is capable of, of knowing where my desires (MY desires, not HIS) can potentially lead me.  The truth about both HIM and me, grant me an anchoring humility and fear that sustain me, that drive me, that admonish me.

Better the enemy you know, right?  I’m my worst enemy.  Why? Because my heart is deceitful and if I think I have it all together, I don’t. If I remain dependent on Christ 100% of the time, then, that deceitful heart, those desires of the flesh, get more and more sedated.  And I’m ok with that.   

Will I one day believe people are good? NO, never gonna happen.  BUT … do people pleasantly surprise me? YES, they continually do.  Thank God.

It's a YouTube world out there...