You’ve planned this get-a-way for a month, hotel is paid, reservations to restaurants you’ve researched are all made, rental car is picked up and you are ready to go! Then… a phone call, one of your kids need you and all plans must be immediately changed. That, my friends, is parenting. It IS inconvenient. It IS unexpected. and it DOES force the parent to be flexible and malleable. Once in a while in the parenting game you will have to stop the planet for your kids: it’s that simple. Unfortunately, the longer one roams around this planet the more likely you are to encounter the ever-frustrating selfish parent.
I thought about that line from the movie Parenthood (1989). When that Todd tells his mother-in-law about his dad: “You know, Mrs. Buckman, you need a license to buy a dog. You need a license to drive a car. Hell, you even need a license to catch a fish. But they'll let any butt-reaming asshole be a father”… I’d change, “father” to parent.
But it’s true. Most of us CAN be “parents” in the biological sense; however, sadly, not as many can be “parents” in the emotional sense.
Guys, who are we kidding? Parenting can suck sometimes. When they’re little they are needy little humans and when they’re older they can be ungrateful humans. Heck, most of this parenting gig is the parent giving 99% and the kid giving 1%.
Frustrating, right?
But God.
So HE’s the perfect father. He loves us, ungrateful/ needy humans, but wisely allows us to make our own mistakes. Allows us to endure the consequences of our ridiculous choices. Permits suffering and pruning and refining in-order to polish us so we can reflect HIM. We don’t see; therefore, cannot believe… but HE shows up. HE shows up when it’s inconvenient, when it’s a pain, when HE has to move stuff around for us. HE left HIS heavenly dwelling, where HE was comfy… for us.
Thank GOD.
But we… we can’t.
I understand there is crap we (as parents) can’t get out of. I’ve been there. I’ve been a working mom FOREVER, I’ve been a single parent, I’ve had meetings for work I could not break, I’ve had to be traveling when crap went down and could not instantly be where I should have been. I’ve lived that. I also comprehend that there is, at times, a kind-of guilt that sets in when one cannot attend ALL the field trips, lunches, or mid-day school related events. However, I cannot fathom an instance where there is a need and I do not react. That just simply isn’t parenting, in my head. I’m talking a NEED, need. For example: there’s an accident involving your kid(s) that’s when the world stops. That’s when you run.
Being a mom gets uncomfortable. It’s also a thankless job, at times. It’s mentally and physically exhausting and HECK YES, it’s inconvenient. But we’re either going to attack this job head-on OR allow our selfish desires and whims to rule us, and frankly, that’s not a good place to parent from.
Parents, we have been given a super-human task, let’s act like it?